I'm So FREAKING EXCITED!! Today one of my friends asked me to hang out on saturday. He also said that he'd teach me how to spin fire!!! I'm now bouncing off the freaking walls. But my life still sucks. FOr more info read the previous journal post. I'm stuck on that girl and it's pissing me off. I swear, no one really cares about what happens to me. Except for maybe Sam. He talked me off the hypothetical ledge last week. Know that pizza hut commercial "Ive been to the edge and back"? I've been to the actual edge. Actually twice. In second grade, i had random suicidal thoughts. Good thing I had freinds that I tottally fucked over in the end. I just realised how much of a dick i am. Maybe that's why I have no friends that actually care about me.... Honestly.. How many people care about me? My family, that's given, and therefore doesn't count. Dixie could probably care less if i killed myself. Mike...I dont know about him. He's a total douche sometimes. Teresa...i honestly doubt that she cares...much. Tanner....There's no way he cares about anyone, though he acts so nice...Destry....Emotionless ass. Luke...I doubt me killing myself would effect him much. Blake...I think Blake would care. I know Blake would. Devan..Definately would care. I'm sure gibs would too. I wonder if anyone sees through my facade.....

I feel like dying/crying/screaming/killing all at the same time....I enjoy how i started this out really happy then depressed myself....I think it's time to sleep....G'night to whoever reads this....or G'Morning. Whatever. I'm sick of the physical world. it's time to slip off to the mental one